
Let’s see…you made a fortune in oil in Texas and you did good with the money while you were alive then left everything to Save the Children after you died. You made five million dollars while on earth and gave half away to missions. “You all know that you were not saved by your good works on earth but they do refect the quality of your life there. Saint Peter is hosting a new arrivals mixer in heaven. Gasp, cough, “I was the one,” cough, wheeze, “in the kitchen with Dinah…” “It was me,” cough, wheeze, “I was the one,” he said as they leaned down as close as they could to hear what he could barely get out in a whisper. “I have one thing I would like to confess before I go,” he said. As the end drew near he motioned for them to come close. How many pianists does it take to change a light bulb? 12, one to change the bulb and 11 to stand around and complain that they could have done it better.Īn old musician was on his death bed and called his whole family together so that he could bid them farewell and make his peace with the world. So the musician would have a place to put his beer. What’s the difference between a piano accompanianist and a terrorist? What’s the difference between a spinet piano and a Harley-Davidson? What’s the difference between a pianist and a large pizza?
#Player piano tuner cracked
What do you call a baby grand that is 80 years old with a cracked sound board, rusty strings, and missing keys? “Well,” he answered, “because with a clarinet, she can’t sing…. “Oh,” said My Dad, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet.” A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. People keep dropping money in your drinks. It’s too hard to lift the piano on end to drain out the spit. Piano player says, “No, but if you would hum a few bars I can fake it.” (rimshot!)Įver wonder why so few brass players also play piano? Guy in a bar says to the piano player, ” Do you know the way to the restroom?” No? Okay, then how about you use this piano if you are “dis- gruntled” about your performance fee? Still no? Then how about the government bought a bunch of these for overseas embassies as part of a pork-barrel appropriation? I’d try to be a better joke writer but you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear – CB. This piano is great for playing fat Jazz chords and hogging the spotlight.


They couldn’t fire him since his name was on the marque – CB.ĭid you hear about the piano player who played in rhythm? True story: I used to know a band that would anticipate exactly where their lead singer would drop a beat in any given song so they would always sound tight. The pianist replies, ‘Well, that’s what you did last time.’ The singer answers, ‘Crikey, I don’t think I can remember all of that.’ On the last A section go into double time and slowly modulate back to G minor.’ When you get to the bridge, modulate back down to F# minor and alternate a 4/4 bar with a 7/4 bar. We will start in G minor and then on the third bar, modulate to B major and go into 5/4. True story: I used to now a piano tuner who would ask, “How does a piano tuner know when he is done tuning a spinet piano? He looks at his watch and if an hour has passed, he’s done.” (Spinets are notoriously hard to tune properly since the strings are so short – CB)Ī pianist and singer are rehearsing ‘Autumn Leaves’ for a concert and the pianist says, ‘OK.
#Player piano tuner tv
(Side note: Do your remember the TV show the Waltons? That had to be one of the most out-of-tune pianos I’ve heard but I guess that the producers were going for realism. Piano Tuner: No, but the people who live across the street did. Music Teacher: But we didn’t send for you. Piano Tuner: I’ve come to tune the piano.

The tuner’s chief purpose is to ascertain the breaking point of the piano’s strings. You only have to tune your instrument twice a year but it costs over a hundred dollars.ĭefinition of a piano tuner: A person employed to come into the home, rearrange the furniture, and annoy the cat. Your hands will become the size of golf umbrellas.ġ. People will refer to you as a “penist”.Ģ. You have to be tall enough to reach the brake pedals.ģ. More than any other instrument, your rear end will fall asleep.Ĥ. The young girl replied, “I know why the minor 3rd is sad: because it’s little!”ĥ. The teacher said, “see, minor sounds sad, major sounds happy”. True story: In teaching a little girl piano, a teacher told her the intervals are called “little” and “big” (for minor/major). ‘I gave your son piano lessons last winter.’ ‘Yes, you have, Your Honour,’ the man answered hopefully. ‘Haven’t I seen your face before?’ Judge Cleary demanded, looking down at the defendant.
